Weapons of Mass Diarrhea

I don't know when the world is going to end but I think I know how: toddler germs.  That's right, a tiny child will end it all with a deadly sneeze.  It turns out that while children are cute and cuddly, they also serve as deadly incubators of infectious diseases of plague-like proportions.  Forget SARS, bird flu, nuclear destruction or global warming; it's the children who will lead us down the path of armageddon, leaving nothing but a trail of tissues and empty antibiotic bottles.

Don't get me wrong: I love kids.  But sick children can easily level an entire nation within a matter of hours.  One cough is worth a thousand germs, germs that house unspeakable horrors.  I am shocked that preschool teachers are not required to wear hazmat suits during flu season.  I'd go on, but the cold meds are kicking in again.  If you have sick children, I suggest you wrap them in sterile bubble wrap before kissing them good night and then take a hot shower after, just in case.